Hello all… I’ve been rather quiet over the last few months.. a big sorry from me.
My general health has been poor with now 7 periods of strep pneumonia over the last year, leaving me tired and lacking blogging energy.
I’ve been under a
lot of pressures with ‘issues’ that have stemmed from my 100 paintings in 100 days personal challenge, leaving me no option other than to close down my usual chatty productive self to a lower level of general grumpyness and disillusionment with life, art, creativity and psychological wellbeing…
I’m going to show you a new thread to my painting work, something I have created to help to release some demons and reclaim some power and self belief after I have felt stripped of my integrity and value…. Sounds serious eh? I’m not the melodramatic drama queen I could be, but I’m severely dented by the last 9 months of life as I’ve known it and I’ve managed to ‘paint out’ some off the issues and emotions that have been stopping me sleeping and allowing my ill health, depression and fragile non-immunity to continue….
I can’t explain these images further, just allow them to explain themselves to you. Some people have told me they are about broken relationships and lost love…. in some ways they are right… the broken relationship and lost love is not however with a lover or partner (I don’t have that honour) but a life betrayal, a lifestyle break, a denial of purpose and a inforced break from close personal associations…..
I soon realised that taking a photo of myself in the bathroom mirror on my mobile phone did not offer me enough detail as a reference image to paint from… so it was major hold my breath and dare myself time…..
My friendly photographer was John at Light and Dark Photography in Penistone near Sheffield…. he was so creative with the lighting and really listened while I nervously explained what I wanted…..
The second I saw the resulting photographs, I knew how and what I wanted to paint… the silver leaf is added for many reasons….. The difficult bit was painting myself, but as I progressed, my need to continue and the need to create an image with emotion and meaning became more important..
I have now had a number of these paintings accepted for exhibition through the juried process…. this encourages me, as I have been so blinkered on equestrian imagery, I at times feel that I have lost my personal soul with my art…
Can I ask you:
What is art about? What do I want to show? How do I make you want to feel? Can I draw you into my world? Can you feel an empathy for what emotions have fuelled my work? Are you picking up that edge? Do you feel that self questioning lack of love? The damage that has been inflicted by somebody else’s process? The need to value yourself because you are the ONLY thing you have that is solid??
Thank you for reading my blog, it’s good to know I don’t just talk to myself…… My art therapy has really helped to lighten my heart and I am still busy in the studio and out and about exhibiting and demonstrating…. This blog post is really just about explaining my blogging gap…. I will return soon to be back to everyday….
































